My grandma died from a robber that came in my grandmas house and I killed myself

I was doing my tutor homework until my grandma came home late at night with groceries. Then a robber came in the door and shot my grandma so I ran to the stairs, I didn't go up I stayed at the stairs and I thought of killing myself so I thought of a knife and I stabbed myself in the chest but I didn't work, I didn't die.